this has to be quick.

I am trying to write this out of my head before my bf gets out of the shower. He is making me fucking nuts. I know that I am putting stress on our relationship by having gained so much weight, and I feel bad for that, and I am trying to fix it. But he seriously doesn't realize how much this affects me. Now I can't go an hour without assessing everything I've eaten in a day, how I look, how much I weigh, do tons of wl maths in my head and basically ogle every single person that is in a 20 foot radius of me with a comparison to myself and how I would assess how they look in general. And yes, this tends to make me retreat into my head quite a bit. Ughhh what the fuck. He is such an angry person and I am so focused on myself I really don't want to fucking deal with it.

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