I don't really know why I am starting my own blog, I guess because I get a lot of inspiration from reading others posts. And, as I think I said in the description, I used to keep a handwritten journal, but it seems like I can't keep that secret, and I want a more generalized recollection........not just these pages and pages of self-loathing and food obsession. Not that I'm not going to write about those things here probably. hah. Either way, I am
, and although I don't condone ed's, I am not going to stop restricting and all that. I let myself go and now I am more unhappy than I have ever been in my life. More than that, I don't know. maybe its denial, but I don't think I have a disorder. I know when I look better, and I can feel all of this fat stuffed inside my skin. I am unhealthy and weighed down and I hate it. I lost my control and I need to get it back. I will get it back!
, and although I don't condone ed's, I am not going to stop restricting and all that. I let myself go and now I am more unhappy than I have ever been in my life. More than that, I don't know. maybe its denial, but I don't think I have a disorder. I know when I look better, and I can feel all of this fat stuffed inside my skin. I am unhealthy and weighed down and I hate it. I lost my control and I need to get it back. I will get it back!
