black friday

working in retail sucks.  But today especially.  I had to go into work at 6 am and the parking lot was already completely full! wtf! Where do these crazy people come from?  So far I have been doing really well this week with food, but not so well with exercising.  I love running, but I live in the city and well, running in the city is pointless for me.  I hate that there is no where to run where I'm not almost hit by a car everytime, and that I hate to run at night because its too dangerous and most of all I hate working out in front of hundreds of people.  :(  Buttttt the silver lining of this cloud is that even though I have been working way more than I usually do(so that I can afford tuition), because I'm a full time student my mom can put me on her gym membership for cheap! :) yay yay yay! Working out in a gym is so much better!  Plus, I arranged my schedule, so that I will have an extra two hours before school which will be my non-negotiable gym time everyday! :)  I can't stop happy facing! hahaha..but really I'm super excited for all of this.  
Alsoooooo I am taking a nutrition class, which is a prereq for a lot of the other classes I have to take, but I am just so worried that we will have to say how much we weigh. :( sad face now haha.  I am excited for all the meal planning and stuff, but not when it comes to actually saying what I'm eating.  I feel like I'm going to be doing my real food log and my one for school. 

Hey everyone! :)

Ugh. so its been super long since I've posted anything or caught up on all the blogs I subscribe too. Its kind of nice that I have a big long reading list ahead of me tho! :) I could definitely use some distractions.
So. The reason why I was on a super long hiatus is because I had to have my cat put to sleep that I've had since I was like 12. It wasn't like a family pet, it was my cat. So basically I was super depressed for the past two weeks. :( It was so awful. I absolutely HATE crying in front of other people so I would just do the bare minimum for conversations and all because I seriously can't talk about my problems or think about them because I hate myself so much everytime I cry in public. Then every night I would sob uncontrollably for like two hours until I passed out from exhaustion. I'm crying now. hah. I miss her so much :( My other cat is so sad and keeps laying in her spots and crying and I'm just now turning back into a human from being a huge ball of mush.

I haven't even weighed myself or really watched what I ate for those two weeks and I'm super scared to see my weight, but also excited to get back on track.
I feel like I new to get a whole new start tho, so what I am planning today is to clean my apartment, and do all the laundry. Theennnnn I will read all of the blogs that I missed so very much and write out some new meal plans and look up some new excersize routines and use the new bike my bf just got! will be miiine!

Sorry for this being a little sad, and I promise to catch up!

Oh and this is weird, but it totally knocked me out of my coma, and its never been this strong before but I was driving home from work and my bf asked me to pick up taco bell for him, and when I was like ten blocks from my apartment it was like this voice that was clear as a bell was like, "so you know you're not going to eat that right? You can't ignore me forever, and you need to get back on track." And I know this sounds like completely insane but I was so happy to have a drive back to keep going. weeeiiiirrrrrd! :)