I hate feeling so fucking awful constantly. I hate feeling so self-concious and just constantly walking around trying my hardest to be invisible and just fade away because I think that everyone who looks at me hates me for being such a cow. I think everyone is constantly disgusted by me, and I wish I could disappear so they wouldn't have to look at me. How fucked up is that? I always wonder if everyone thinks things like that...if they break down after not eating for two days and eat 40 dollars worth of fast food in literally fifteen minutes. I hate this, and at the same time, I am ashamed and sad that I don't try harder. I am so sick of this....I need to try harder.