I shouldn't let it get to me...

not much new..just working and all that...I fasted for the last two days, and I was down to 195 yesterday, but then when I weighed myself this morning I was at 200 again and I literally cried for like twenty minutes. ughhh. Just water weight, I suppose? But still, it freaks me out and scares me. I am so embarrassed by myself. I let myself go so bad. I have been with my bf for two years, and I got super depressed last spring and I would just eat whenever he ate, and now its like I'm a fucking parade float.
Not to mention all of these super thin girls hit on him all the time. He is so sweet tho, he doesn't even pay attention to them, and I know that he loves me, and I trust him completely, but last night he told me that one of them said he could do so much better than me. I seriously saw red and wanted blood, but also I feel super depressed by it. I know that I'm fat as shit, but I'm not terrible looking in the head. ughhhh. I seriously just want to punch this stupid girl in the face, but she lives like three states away. WTF. I hate catty bitches. I am going to think about that today while I'm running hah. I will be thin again dammit!!!!