Ugh. Sooo. I totally can't sleep. I hate that. On the bright side, I stay up late reading all these blogs, so then I sleep in the next day which usually eliminates breakfast and lunchtime which is nice, then a tea for dinner and I'm set. I was supppppposed to fast today, but I am completely weak so I ended up eating a small salad for dinner because I felt super faint. :/
My bf and I got in a fight, well...He got super mad and took it out on me, but I'm not the sort of person who argues, I just take it and end up sitting in front of the mirror trying to pull all of my disgusting fat off(I wish it was that easy!) I really have always been the kind of person who would rather not say anything than get in a fight with someone I love, and it seems like that makes it easier for people to yell at me. I don't think they realize that it all just goes into my already prevalent self hate mantras.
That sounds so...melodramatic, so I'm sorry haha...still. Its kind of sick, but I like being unhappy because it makes fasting so much easier. for me at leasttt.
I seriously can't believe I let myself get this fat and disgusting. :( I hate feeling like there is cement jello pasted all over my body. I will NOT eat tomorrow. nonononononononono. Good luck everyone! :)